March 29, 2019

Love Belongs To All of Us: Why This Widow Chooses Love After Loss


Love.

Are we only given one chance?

We marry.
They die.
That's it.

This is the story many want us widows to accept.
You are not human anymore.
You are a widow.
You were handed a card that says "sorry honey...that was all you get."
You loved him.
You lost him.
Love doesn't belong to you anymore.

Oh no my loves.
Love belongs to all of us.
Love is a gift for all of us to give.
For all of us to receive.

Funny thing is us widows are amazing at love.
We know the pain of loss.
We know the pain of heartache and how to heal our broken hearts.
We know how to heal our children's broken hearts.
We treat love as the most precious gift we are given because we know how it feels for it to be taken away.
We cherish it.
We honor it.
We respect it.
We love hard.
We love big.

It took years to love myself again after loss.
To rebuild and accept this new life of mine.
To be open to offering my heart to another.
To not feel guilty that another could be welcome in our home and hearts.

I loved myself to let love in again.
To let this man listen to and honor my story.
Sit with me in my pain.
Accept my bruises and scars.

He didn't run.
He didn't judge.

No. No. No.

He only saw a woman filled with love.
I only saw a man filled with love.
A man wanting to share with me what I want to share with him.

My boys know I love this man.
I am happy and complete.
They want me to be happy.
I hope they will know love like I know it.
I hope they never feel, or are told, they don't deserve it.

If you choose to love again after loss. Choose it.
If you choose to not. I honor your choice.

All I ask is you love yourself.
Love is love.
Love heals.
Love fills.
Give it.
Receive it.
Please share it.
Go love.




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1 comment:

becky said...

Sandra, reading this, chills ran down my spine...you are a fighter, you won't give up, you stumble, you fall, you stand back up with such GRACE, LOVE AND SOME...PEACE. Loss is something that keeps on tugging at your heart yet you share your pain, your trials, and your very BIG heart with all of us. Your soul aches yet you share that pain with us and help us all find peace in our own lives. May the memories of your sweet man, so funny, kind and caring, bring you that JOY you deserve in your future...he would want that for you. I have loved reading your blog and in life I hope you live it to the fullest as loss is so hard and through this not only are you stronger so are we! You are beautiful inside and out..Love you my friend.