Dear
Jack,
Today
was the day.
Your
last day of high school.
You
walked out the door this morning wearing the blue backpack you have worn
everyday since your first day of kindergarten.
I
smiled when you put it on.
I
remembered your first day of kindergarten.
A blond
boy carrying a backpack half his size smiling as he walked into his first day
of school.
A
mom and dad watching you smile, anxious and proud as you walked away.
13
first days of school.
13
last days of school.
So
many days in between.
That
backpack has traveled with you through this thing called life.
Smiles.
Accomplishments.
Heartache.
Pain.
So
much change.
That
backpack was on your back on days I never imagined would have been in your
life.
The
day you walked back into school after your dad died that backpack was
unbearable on your back.
The
day we boarded a plane a month before your freshman year to move to a new town,
new school and new life that backpack was suffocating.
The
days you had to walk out the door and I know you knew I was going back to bed
because I was so lost in my grief. It was so heavy on your back and there was so
much heavy in your heart.
But
you never let the heavy load you were carrying crush you.
Instead
every day you grew stronger.
Every
day brave and resilient.
The
backpack never got lighter Jack.
Your back just got stronger.
You
have a strength you never knew you had in you.
You now
carry that backpack with ease and grace.
You
put it on every morning and take whatever comes your way.
Everyday
you put that backpack on and walked out the door you taught me something.
You taught
me I had to be brave and resilient just like you.
You
gave me the courage to make bold decisions and keep trying even when I felt
like I was failing you and Charlie.
I hope that backpack felt light as air on your back this morning.
You
said you wanted a new backpack for college.
I
agree.
It’s
time to let it go.
Go
live a life without anything from your past on your back weighing you
down.
The
past is the past.
Honor
it.
Learn
from it.
But
know your big, bold, beautiful future is waiting for you.
We all
carry around heavy loads every day.
Isn’t
it time for all of us to let go of whatever it is we carry that weighs us down?
Isn’t
it time we stand up straight, honor how strong we are and love ourselves enough
to let it go?
Thank
you Jack for being my son.
Thank
you for adding light, love and laughter to my world everyday.
Now
go and live your life with a new backpack.
Your future is yours.
Go live it.
I love you.
Mom
Truth, love and hope in your inbox every Friday. Sign up for my newsletter here.